So this isn’t a happy post. Move along if you don’t want to read venting, etc. I’ve gotta get it out.
The world appears to be in a different dimension lately – like Bizarro or something. I haven’t felt much like writing – which is a bad thing when you do it for a living. I haven’t even posted much to facebook lately.
Ok, call me weird, but the celebrities that have all passed away in the last couple of months….mind boggling for a couple of them. It’s making me feel very old too. I know, how selfish of me, but it’s the truth. We think we know these celeb’s personally, when we don’t. Their passing seems to touch the mere mortal such as myself. I guess it’s because we felt we knew them in some form or fashion.
My work life appears to be on a roller coaster, AGAIN. I’m employed for the moment, but I’m not sure for how much longer with a company buy out and what appears to be layoffs looming. I’m not super upset about it as this job was strictly for a paycheck and hasn’t been all that fun. But it’s a job and I’m thankful for that. Although the job market appears to be good in my area of the world, I can’t seem to land any interviews for the gajillion things I’ve applied to and am more than qualified for. On the one or two that I’ve interviewed for (a gajillion times), It’s like dating or something. All of the sudden “POOF!”, you never hear from them again with no explanation.
I’ve had friends/family let me down recently. I don’t ask for much. I really don’t. I can count the number of people I trust on one hand, so it hits hard when you are let down by a select few. Things that are important to me don’t appear to be all that important to anyone else. I get it. We all have our issues and what is important to each of us is different. Just sucks sometimes. Thank you to those who have been there for me. It means more than you know.
The males in my house all appear to be on their man periods 90% of the time, which makes it even more difficult. These hormones in the teen and tween….they are racing through with a vengeance. Teen driving is enough to put anyone over the edge. :/
I have friends & acquaintances with loved ones with very critical medical conditions and also some VERY heavy other situations. I can not fathom what some of these folks are going through. I am truly thankful for my healthy immediate family and send all of what little positive energy and mojo I have at the moment to them. My issues seem stupid and trite in comparison, so I shouldn’t be complaining. I am though.
The reverse parenting thing with my parents, totally sucks. IT’S.NOT.FUN. My dad has had some recent diagnoses that are not going to be fun to deal with. I’m about to have to take his car away from him and sell it. I’m about to go to an attorney with my Mom to handle a bunch of legal stuff with/for them. I’m making decisions for them and their well being with a little bit of resistance in some areas. My brother…let’s not go there. I totally need to remember all of this when my kids have to reverse parent me. The outlaws…..well thank gawd they aren’t my problem. They are in worse shape than mine are, but I can’t get involved. That’s really hard, but it is what is. (isn’t that the stupidest saying ever?). Thankfully, my Mom is all there mentally. That’s huge and I’m thankful for that.
The positives? Dogs are awesome. I love my dogs. They don’t ask for much other than food, water, shelter and love. They give that love back unconditionally. I’m actually taking classes so one of mine can be tested to be a therapy dog so we may volunteer together to do that. Focusing a lot on that right now.
So is this my mid-life crisis? The point where you go, “WTF have I done with my life that really matters?“ For the love of Pete, don’t tell me “the change” is coming too. I really can’t handle throwing that into the mix at the moment.
I really would like for the world to get back on it’s correct axis again. This is really freaking me out. Please? m’kay? Thanks!